Always Arrive Early – Even When You Don’t.
How smart expectation-setting builds trust – minute by minute.
Intro
You’re probably familiar with the situation: you’re almost there, but not quite. You’re five minutes late, because of traffic, poor timing, or just because the elevator wasn’t working again. In moments like these, most people say they’ll be there in exactly five minutes, but then end up being seven or ten minutes late. Surprisingly, the other person’s reaction is often less about the actual waiting time and more about the gap between what was promised and what actually happens. This is precisely where either trust or irritation arises.
What Science Says
Research on expectation management shows that people are sensitive to discrepancies between announcements and experiences. According to the Expectancy Violations Theory, even minor deviations from expectations – whether positive or negative – can trigger strong emotions. A slightly positive deviation is interpreted as competence and reliability, while a negative deviation is interpreted as disrespect or a lack of professionalism. People’s evaluation of an experience is largely based on comparing it to a mental reference point, rather than on the experience itself. If you exceed this reference line, you will appear more reliable, competent, and pleasant.
This principle is also confirmed in economic contexts. For example, a 2010 study showed that broken promises, even minor ones, significantly weaken trust in brands and individuals. The decisive factor is not the absolute performance, it is the relationship between the initial promise and its actual fulfillment. Studies on the so called “underpromise and overdeliver” principle show that companies that intentionally make slightly conservative promises and then exceed them, achieve higher customer satisfaction and ratings. The mechanism is simple: setting expectations a little lower creates room for a positive surprise effect. That results in greater satisfaction, stronger loyalty, and, in the long term, higher credibility.
Small Change
So what does this mean in practice? The answer: Exceed expectations. If you know you’ll be five minutes late, announce seven or ten minutes instead. This isn’t deception, it’s professional expectation management; a realistic commitment with a small buffer that takes into account the uncertainties of everyday life. Your counterpart will feel taken seriously, and you will ensure that your arrival will be perceived as reliable rather than as a delay.
Compounding Effect
Repeating this small pattern over weeks and months will fundamentally change how people perceive you. Others will see you as consistent, precise, and respectful of their time. This positive shift in expectations will become your trademark: You deliver what you promise – and often even a little more. People will start to rely on you, because you’ve consistently shown them they can count on you.
Let’s try it!
Reliability is not a coincidence; it is the active management of expectations. Those who meet expectations create satisfaction. Those who exceed them generate enthusiasm. Next time you’re running late, give yourself a little buffer. Make it a habit to set your counterpart’s expectations just a touch lower than what you’ll actually deliver – and watch how it transforms your reputation.
In five minutes, you can be late. In seven (announced) minutes, you can be seen as reliable and competent.
Once you arrive, don’t forget that a simple smile can transform your interactions, and that calling people by their name can make a big difference.
For a deeper insight:
Burgoon, J. K. (2015). Expectancy violations theory.
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